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Stripper Retirement Home Shutting Down

January 10, 2013

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(AJCThe Clermont Motor Hotel, home to the seedy namesake lounge that attracts celebs and locals alike to gawk at its gallery of aging strippers, has been sold. A team of Nashville and New York developers bought the vacant hotel, which houses the unique strip joint in its basement, “to redevelop as a boutique hotel,” according to a news release issued Wednesday.

Not gonna lie. It’s a sad goddamn day when we lose the truly weird shit. I mean anybody can go to a strip club in Atlanta and get a hummer from some 20 year old with daddy issues and a lazy eye from one too many surprise moneyshots. But how often can you watch those same sluts mature into glorious, wrinkly, filthy tramps doing the same goddamn job 40+ years later?

I remember my first time going to the Clermont. Little nervous. Little upset we couldn’t just go to Tattletale’s or some establishment where I could blow what little cash I had to let some chick rub her diseased snatch all over my khakis. I’d heard the rumors, I loved that weird shit exists, just didn’t feel like participating.

You know what? It’s fucking great. Basically a normal bar for me now. It’s like a goddamn carnival in there. Know that time you got bored at a bar and it’s fucking crowded and packed with dudes? Fuck that shit. Turn your head, boom, there’s a 70 year old great grandma over there beating a man to death with her triple F’s. Fucking majestic.

Not to mention TRADITION. This is the SouthEast. There’s nothing more important than tradition down here. So keep your money grubbin hands off my senile snatches

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