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If You Think Somebody Didn’t Take A Drink Out of One of These Bottles, Then You Were a Loser in High School

January 21, 2013


ChronTalk about whisky on ice: Three bottles of rare, 19th century Scotch found beneath the floor boards of Antarctic explorer Ernest Shackelton’s abandoned expedition base were returned to the polar continent Saturday after a distiller flew them to Scotland to recreate the long-lost recipe.

But not even New Zealand Prime Minister John Key, who personally returned the stash, got a taste of the contents of the bottles of Mackinlay’s whisky, which were rediscovered 102 years after the explorer was forced to leave them behind.

I think we’re all tempted to crack it open and have a little drink ourselves now,” Key joked at a ceremony handing over the bottles to Antarctic Heritage Trust officials at New Zealand’s Antarctic base on Ross Island.

The whisky will be transferred by March from Ross Island to Shackelton’s desolate hut at Cape Royds and replaced beneath the restored hut as part of a program to protect the legacy of the so-called heroic era of Antarctic exploration from 1898 to 1915.

I’m a bourbon guy personally but I’m pretty sure I couldn’t stop myself if somebody hauled an intact bottle of 102 freakin year old scotch out of a frozen Antarctic hut. I can barely help myself if there’ s a handle of Jack lying around my apartment. Scotch gets better with age  so this stuff’s just got to be absurd. At a certain point it’s not even the taste, but rather how badass it is to drink 100 year old Scotch.

I mean I’m glad they recreated the recipe and all. But, honestly what’s the point of being prime minister if you can’t take a couple liberties with ancient artifacts? What is the world coming to?

Which is why I don’t believe for a second that nobody took a pull off this stuff. There’s no way the prime minister didn’t get a nice little tulip glass out and give that century old scotch a swirl. Little water, maybe some sweet tea back in the bottle and nobody’s the wiser. Classic move on how to sneak from your parents booze back in high school. Spend 10 minutes getting the coloring just right. That shit was my jam.

They’re just gonna put these bottles back in the ground anyway, so why not?

And what the hell is the idea behind burying this stuff? You don’t bury alcohol. You especially don’t bury Scotch that’s been around longer than human flight has.

It Belongs in a MUSEUM!!!


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