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Security Guard Accidentally Shoots His Dick Off

January 23, 2013

RawStoryA security guard is hospitalized in the city of San Fernando in the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago after accidentally discharging his weapon and shooting off his penis. According to the Trinidad and Tobago Guardian, the unnamed 33-year-old man was carrying a .38 caliber handgun in his pocket when it went off, striking him in the groin.

Police in the town of Rio Claro received a call around 8:00 a.m. on Sunday that witnesses had heard a shot coming from a parked car. Officers responding to the scene found the driver slumped at the wheel and bleeding from the injured area.

The wounded man was taken to San Fernando General Hospital where he remains under guard. Authorities ran a trace on him and found that he did not possess a license for the gun he was carrying. He faces charges of illegal possession of a firearm and ammunition.

That’s it for me. The day I shoot my dick off is the day the next bullet goes straight into my brain. 95% of the things I think about are stuff to do with my dick. Not always directly but most of the stuff will eventually involve my dick. Lookin at bitches; obvious what I want to do there. Making money; Need money to go places and buy shit so that I can put my dick in hot girls. Watching sports and drinking; I’m just trying to forget that my dick isn’t in somebody’s cooter right now.

And whatever happened to extenuating circumstances? The trinidad and tobogan DA is gonna charge this guy with illegal possession of firearms. What punishment can you give him that’s worse than what he’s already done to himself? The big karma justice sword came down and slashed this guys pecker off. Your really just piling on.

Probably should just throw this guy in a mental institution. Only way I’m staying alive in this scenario is in a straight jacket and heavily sedated for the rest of my days.

Respect your dicks fellas. Because you wouldn’t want to live in a world without them.

 

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