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Do These Look Like the Faces of Two Guys Who Stole $65k Worth of Chicken Wings

January 28, 2013

AJCDORAVILLE, Ga. – It sounds like an unusual heist, but police say that two men were arrested for stealing thousands of dollars of chicken wings.

According to records obtained by FOX 5 News from the Gwinnett County Police Department, Dewayne Patterson, 35, of Lithonia, and Renaldo Jackson, 26, of Stone Mountain, stole $65,000 in frozen chickens from Nordic Cold Storage in the 4300 block of Pleasantdale Road in Doraville where the two were employed.

The theft reportedly happened just before noon on January 12. Police reports state that the men had rented a truck and backed it to the bay doors. Video obtained by investigators show the men using a forklift to load 10 pallets of Tyson frozen chicken wings.

The wings have yet to be found, but the men were put on ice this Wednesday being arrested for felony theft by taking. According to Gwinnett County Jail records, they have since been release on $2,950 bond

So this has to be like the biggest heist every pulled off by a couple black guys right? Like this is their Ocean’s 11. To be perfectly honest, it wasn’t a terrible plan. You’ve got $65k worth of wings the week before the super bowl. I mean you’re gonna be able to get rid of ‘em. Just gotta have the right chicken wing fence. The deep, deep dark if you will. So there’s obviously somebody else involved in this whole thing. The wing’s have to be somewhere right? Can you imagine that interrogation? Cops have to feel fucking ridiculous. Going all Dirty Hairy over some fucking extra crispy.

Go ahead, make mine boneless…

PS. Tyler Perry probably already bought the rights to this story. A set of stereotypical hijinks where one of these guys is a crossdressing grandma or some shit.

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One Comment
  1. I bet there’s a jew behind all this.

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