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Fat Kids Only! New Gym Concept Is Idiotic

January 28, 2013

Yahoo At Downsize Fitness health clubs, the treadmills are wider, the head trainers are weight-loss veterans and new members must be at least 50 pounds (22.7 kgs) overweight. It’s all about creating a more welcoming environment to battle the bulge and drop the excess weight. Francis Wisniewski, a hedge fund manager, started Downsize Fitness in 2011, when he was struggling to lose weight and found himself intimidated by one-size-fits-all gyms. “I figured if I was uncomfortable, a lot of people must be. Overweight people feel like they’re on display,” said Wisniewski, who has gyms in Dallas and Chicago. His inspiration came from the hit television reality show “The Biggest Loser.”…. Gary Liguori, an expert in exercise science with the American College of Sports Medicine, called Downsize Fitness a unique behavioral approach for getting people active because they don’t have to worry about being self-conscious. He said historically overweight people have not been successful with exercise and it’s not unusual for them to feel intimidated at gyms.

When your fat it’s intimidating to go the gym? Who fucking knew? I’ve always been a big fan of shaming people into becoming better. Could have been fraternity life. Could be that I was raised Catholic and my family knew how to wield guilt with soul crushing precision. Either way, there’s gonna be like 2 people who actually lose any significant amount of weight from this. You’d think, “man this is a terrible business model, like a guy who starts a rape whistle company.” But the difference here is that no amount of feel good, let’s be fat together crap is gonna produce results and rape whistles actually fucking work.

You know what fat people are? They’re comfortable. All the time. That’s how they got fat. Comfort foods. Comfy sofa. Comfy stretchy pants. Being morbidly obese is a lifestyle choice and apparently a disease. Unless we’re starting to quarantine them really sneakily, this is a pretty terrible idea.

PS. What happens when somebody loses 50 lbs? Do they get their membership revoked? Or are they still cool like Tim, the skinny counselor from Heavyweights.

Probably not gonna be an issue though. I give it two months before he sells off all the exercise equipment and just installs troughs that dispense Ben and Jerry’s.

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