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Pa Guy Breaks Out of Jail By Knocking Cell Door Off Hinges, Head Straights for Bar

January 30, 2013

WPXIWASHINGTON COUNTY, Pa. —Police said a Washington County man escaped from a holding cell at a police station Saturday afternoon and celebrated his freedom by having a beer at a nearby bar. Authorities said Timothy Bonner was being processed at the Smith Township police station on an assault charge. Police said that when officers removed his handcuffs and put him in a holding cell, Bonner knocked the cell door off its hinges and escaped from the building. Detectives said Bonner went to Bill Stewart’s house and asked to borrow shoes.

“I guess they didn’t secure him,” Stewart said. According to police, detectives found Bonner a short time later at a nearby bar having a beer. Channel 11’s Cara Sapida talked to Robert Smith, who said he bought Bonner a beer in Richy’s Bar after he told him he had just escaped from jail.He asked me to buy him a beer, so I bought him a beer. He didn’t even get to take a drink of it before they slammed him on the bar,” Smith said. “He was only here a few minutes before police showed up.”

When I first read this story I assumed he was gonna look like Michael Clark Duncan from Green Mile.

Nope. Guess I’ll have to chuck the whole knocking the cell door off up to retard strength based on the mugshot. Guy’s got his priorities set though. Rip off the cell door. Head straight for the bar. Unfortunately Richy took that “No shirt, no shoes, no problem” sign down ever since Jimbo’s grandma got fell off the wagon last Mardis Gras. Had to stop by good ole Bill’s house to borrow some shoes. Of course, no cash so he had to ask a friendly patron to buy him a beer after telling him he escaped from prison. Real dickish of the cops to not let him finish it. I mean you’d think they’d have a sense of humor about a guy heading to a bar after busting out of prison after “undisclosed charges.”

PS. So is this the friendliest town ever or what? Are you gonna charge Robert and Bill with aiding and abetting a fugitive? Does he know these guys or do you just have to be white in Florida to not get shot at everywhere you go?

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