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Zimbabwe Only Has $217 In the Bank, so NBC Says Don’t Feel So Bad

January 30, 2013

NBC NewsBefore you get depressed about the state of your finances, spare a thought for the nation of Zimbabwe, which as of Tuesday had exactly $217 in the bank. That’s 217 dollars, not $217 million or $217 billion. Finance Minister Tendai Biti said Tuesday that that was all that was left in the country’s public accounts after it paid its civil servants last week, the South African Press Association reported. He told reporters in the capital, Harare, that some of them were probably better off than the state. After a decade of inflation hit 500 billion percent in 2008 — leading to the issuance of 100 trillion-dollar bills in Zimbabwean currency — the country switched to the U.S. dollar and formed a coalition government in 2009, which the International Monetary Fund credited in September with taming inflation and stabilizing the economy.

Fuck you NBC News. You don’t know me. I’ve got tuition debt, an overdrawn credit card, and 45 cents in the bank right now. 5 in checking and 40 in savings (because I like to plan for my future).  Presumptuous twats.

But seriously, all I could think of was going to Zimbabwe with my next paycheck and just living large. Then I thought, nooooo. This isn’t Eurotrip where I go to Bratislava and buy a threesome with the President or Czar or whatever’s twin daughters for a nickel.

hot-twins-22

Nope this is Zimbabwe. If you’ve got $3k US in your pocket your a fuckin Zimbabwean millionaire but all it can buy you is an AIDS test (which you now have because you stepped foot in Zimbabwe) and the only inflated soccer ball in the whole country.

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