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Apple Is Considering Making a Watch

February 11, 2013

NYT — “Over the long term wearable computing is inevitable for Apple; devices are diversifying and the human body is a rich canvas for the computer,” Ms. Epps said. “But I’m not sure how close we are to a new piece of Apple hardware that is worn on the body.” Investors would most likely embrace an iWatch, with some already saying that wearable computing could replace the smartphone over the next decade. “We believe technology could progress to a point where consumers have a tablet plus wearable computers, like watches or glasses, that enable simple things like voice calls, texting, quick searches, navigation,” Gene Munster, an analyst at Piper Jaffray, said in a report last month. “These devices are likely to be cheaper than an iPhone and could ultimately be Apple’s best answer to addressing emerging markets.”

Stop it Apple. Don’t do another goddamn thing until you make my smartphone indestructible. So sick of cracked screens and having a panic attack every time I drop the damn thing.

I know, I know. I should get a case for it. Uh uh. Not gonna happen. Need to feel the metal against my skin. Can’t be totin some five pound life proof case in my pocket all day that looks ridiculous. Either figure out how to turn me into a cyborg and put the phone in my head or fix the next iphone so it’s tougher than a Nalgene bottle.

PS. You know what I miss? Being able to push clothed people into a pool. Literally cannot do it nowadays without owing somebody like $200. Make phones fucking waterproof. That dumb bitch Siri can wait.

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