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College Kid Delivers Condoms on Foot to Everyone Who’s Not a Loser

February 13, 2013

Because nothing screams I’m a virgin like strapping a strobe to your head and hand delivering condoms to everyone else on campus who’s fucking. There’s no justifiable margin he’s making to make this shit worthwhile.

Firstly, he’s gonna only be getting called at night, when he should be out either drinking or fucking.

Second, you’re gonna get hit up nonstop from 7pm till 9am. Some guy bringing home the last cow left at the bar at 2:30 in the morning will be hitting his ass up for his Lambskin special because the bitch is allergic to latex.

Thirdly, not sure about any of you. But I’ve ordered shit to be delivered in college and been too drunk or otherwise occupied to go pick it up from the delivery guy. So he’ll end up standing at the dorm room door listening to a guy who pops his load from some chick going down him. Pretty sure he got his, so no need to answer the door anymore. Thanks for the effort running from West campus loser…

PS. The only good thing about this is everybody knows when and who everybody else is fucking. The shame and judgment in girls eyes when they see that strobe light coming has to be priceless.


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