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Does This Look Like the Face of A Woman Who Bit Off Her Boyfriend’s Tongue?

February 18, 2013

Elaine Cook, accused of biting off part of her boyfriend's tongue during an argument on Valentine's Day.

Looks like this bulldog’s BF got his signals crossed and lost his stick attempting to play some tonsil hockey.

Chicago –Cook and her boyfriend, who had been dating for 10 months, went out for Valentine’s Day last week, according to prosecutors and court records. Shortly after returning to Cook’s north suburban apartment, the two started arguing and she asked her boyfriend to leave, Assistant State’s Attorney Eve Reilly said. The man, 47, put on his shoes and started to head out the door when he tried to make amends, Reilly added. “He told her they should stop fighting and went to kiss her,” Reilly said, “and she bit off a large portion of his tongue.”

The man ran to the kitchen sink. Cook followed, placed the detached tongue in her hand and threw it on the counter. He put the severed tongue in a bag of ice and called 911, prosecutors said. Paramedics took the boyfriend by ambulance to nearby Evanston Hospital, but doctors could not reattach the tongue due to “inadequate blood supply,” Reilly said. When reached by phone, the man said he has been visiting the doctor every day, has several sutures in his mouth and has trouble sleeping at night. Most of the right side of his tongue is missing, he added.

The simple truth is that if you’re as ugly as this chick, your just not allowed to be this crazy. No one will put up with your bullshit. Nora Arnezeder could literally just lop body parts off me one by one and I’d be cool with it as long as I can keep everything downstairs and enough blood to operate the equipment. Hot chicks can get away with shit like this because at the end of the day, we’ll do anything for some big tits, a pert ass, and a pretty face. Slag heaps like this chick need to slow their roll before they start munching down tongues on V-day.

P.S. I’m completely unaware of when women are pissed off at me. Mostly because I don’t keep track of their cycles since I’m not afraid of bear attacks in Atlanta. Also because half the time I’m not sure if we’re about to anger bang our differences out and I’m just assuming that’s gonna happen. You could literally slap me in the face and I would think we were about to do some kinky S&M shit.

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