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Guy Wears 33lb Suit to Simulate Pregnancy, Women Not Impressed

February 19, 2013

Well, when are they ever?

Source — “I was expecting to get a nice pat on the back and instead women were completely fixated on the suit’s inadequacies,’’ he said. “They wanted me to have heartburn roiling up my throat, they wanted me to have varicose veins rising like garden hoses up my legs, (and) they wanted me to pee every five minutes and to be constipated for a week. They wanted to jab me full of hormone-oozing needles, essentially. Once they saw me in the suit, they’re like, ‘Nice try, wuss.’’’

I mean, this dude tried to find some common ground but there is just no pleasing ‘em. Look ladies, the fact of the matter is that we can’t actually get pregnant or lose our minds every 30 days. This is about the best a guy can do to simulate that. You can’t really experience being a guy either because, I’m sorry, but there isn’t some miracle drug out there that can make you faster, or smarter, or more competitive in the workplace. If there was you could experience the shit we deal with every day. Nope. Your day to day is getting drinks and dinners bought for you and your friends. Then you get the luxury of every man on earth putting up with your ridiculous emotional issues because we’ll do just about anything to have a chance at putting a dick in you. Downsides are you uncontrollably bleed once a month and can get pregnant.

Given the fact that you know being pregnant blows, just don’t do it if you don’t want to. If I have a peanut allergy, I don’t wolf down a bunch of Jif and then complain to everyone that my throat is closing and I’m going into shock. I’d go to the hospital and feel ashamed that I couldn’t keep peanut butter out of my mouth for 30 minutes to protect my own health. Same thing with dicks. You don’t want sore joints, or raging hormones, or big stretched out nipples? Don’t put dicks inside you. Problem solved.

P.S. Don’t stop putting dicks inside you. We really enjoy it. Can I buy you something?


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