Chick Wins 106 lb Wrestling Title for Mass D2 State Championship
106 lbs? Maybe in your bra!
BostonGlobe — Senior Danielle Coughlin knew North Andover entered the final round of the Division 2 state championship just behind Winchester — and needing all five of its finalists to win the team title. The task began in the 106-pound final, and Coughlin came through, defeating Winchester’s Jordan Darby (106lb freshman), 5-3, to become the first girl to win a Massachusetts state wrestling championship. Coughlin had control of her match for much of the three periods. She was determined to put her team on a path to a championship. “We knew going into Danielle’s match that she was the key to us winning. If she didn’t win, we would have still had a chance [to come back] but one of our guys would have needed a pin,” North Andover coach Carl Cincotta said. After Coughlin’s historic victory, the Scarlet Knights reeled off the other four wins it needed and left Marshfield High School as Division 2 state champions.
Look, everybody knows when you wrestle a chick it’s a lose, lose. You win, big deal. all you did was beat a chick. You lose, and you got beaten by a fucking chick. That’s a ridiculous mind fuck style advantage they bring to the table simply because they have a hole rather than a pole. Boston Globe’s blowin this shit up like it’s a huge deal, which it’s not. I get accused of being sexist all the time but at least I don’t blow up unsurprising news stories just because I want to be PC. Lookie lookie, a girl won the 106 lb division of wrestling at a D2 school! She beat a FRESHMAN, emaciated 106 lb kid whose balls still live somewhere near his throat. Color me shocked! Dude just learned how to crack his own whip and he’s still dry firing and Danielle’s been using a straight razor and Barbasol to clean up her ‘stache for 6 years now.
Tell you what the real story is here. The shattered life and tragic road ahead for the pre-pubescent, 106 lb dude she beat. On top of weighing less than Kelly Ripa soaking wet he just lost to a girl in the state championship. Absolute ridicule coming his way for 3 ½ more years. Thanks a ton Boston Globe! Just propping women up for shitty wrestling title’s while you rip away the balls from young men who haven’t even had them drop yet. He’s a 106 lb kid who likes to wear spandex. Sure he didn’t have it tough already. Bravo. So Brave. So edgy.
Now stick her back in Jello where she belongs.